daily reverie

Dazed, rushed, troubled = life.

2009-11-02T03:09:00.000-08:00

I can't hold back any longer. I have to let so many things out that I have no idea where to start.

- I feel lost at times. Being without girlfriends is like losing your phantom limb. Sorry nic i haven't been on skype. :( my sleeping times have been so erratic that now most days i either sleep at 9pm or 4 am. go figure.

- Law is so much more work than i expected it to be. I really think I should be doing mass comm instead but Dad says no. And yet both he and mum insists that they DIDN'T FORCE ME INTO DOING LAW. I have a lot of verbal evidence that I can quote by heart as prove that they did. indirectly.

- I love him. But lately it feels as though we've been fighting over silly things. It's like there's just something between us that if we had a good day, we won't have a good night. it could just be me but then again...... I don't know. my paranoia is back. FUCK.

-Things are just moving way too fast. But at the same time not fast enough.

- If time could just pause............ It sometimes feels as though I don't have enough time to think things through.

to amirahanis and nicoleteow I'd give anything to have the 3 of us in the same place for 2 days one night. with fattening comfort foods and one tree hill. I'd give anything to be back in form 3 or 4 at amirahs' house.

Need to rant

2009-09-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

Yes its been 3 months [i saw this on mirah's blog] since the last time i was here. Just read my previous post and that was before i finished my a-levels. gosh now that seems so long ago when in fact its only been, as stated above, 2-3 months.

Most/majority of my friends have flown off to various countries... and me? I just started Law at KDU College. Twins with Oxford Brookes University. yeap. :) hopefully in God's will i'll be joining my flown friends in the land of Eng for my final year. and if i'm financially capable, i'll be there for 2 years. one to complete my degree and the next to complete my Bar. [no not the bar where you get alco-ed up but bar as in to qualify standing infront of a judge in court] :D

There's so much that has happened and there's so much that i've been feeling. My emotions are all jumbled up with moving on in life. My last leg of education. The last stage of my student life [or 2nd last if i'm going to do my Masters] but you catch my drift.

There're so many people who i used to be so close to but don't talk to anymore. Why? All because i've been to lazy to keep in touch. people like Isa, Sandra and my primary school friends..

As I grow older and realise that i'm aging, the more i want to keep in touch with these people. With those who were there as i was going through the integral part of my life. the pre-teen and teen years... if you ask me, those are the most impressionable years of a persons life. An all these people made an impression in mine.

Anyway i should go study criminal law. My Criminal Law lecturer reminds me alot of Vishal's mom. ;p

OH HOW I HAVE NEGLECTED THEE.

2009-05-20T06:40:00.000-07:00

Yes once again I have neglected my blog. I don't know what was so interesting in my life back then when i felt compelled to blog everyday [on occasion twice a day].

I suppose i would like to remember this for as long as i can.
I had a dream about John Mayer [big surprise] a couple of nights ago. I have dreamt about him countless of times before but this time it was different. You wanna know why?

Here's how it went.

It was all over the news that John Mayer was coming to town and he was having an intimate pre-concert performance. Intimate as in there would only be 50 people and john mayer at this undisclosed place and he would be performing whatever he felt like performing [like how he used to play in pubs and little clubs before he went megafamous]

So of course I was one of those 50 people and for some reason it was held at my primary school hall [which is a pretty big hall]

And as dreams usually are, the location changes without any coherent explanation.

After his performance, [which made each girl feel as though he was singing only to them]

we were for some reason at my house, living room to be exact. And it was Mayer, me, Paul Leong [for reasons unknown] my cousin Athirah and one other person i've forgotten.

So it was the 5 of us, around the dining table, and guess what we were doing. Playing friggin CHO DAI DI! [can someone say addict!?] And talking of course.

See the reason why this John Mayer dream was different as compared to the others was because i didnt feel like i loved him[as in i wanted to be in a relationship with him] or starstrucked.

It genuinely felt like 2 friends talking making conversation. SEE?! All i wanna do is get to know the guy! Friends! I dont want him in my pants [although i may not put up that much of a fight] not do i want to marry him or anything of the sort.

Just Friendship. Thats it.

heh. Could it be because as of this moment i feel as though i've already found "the one"? Or i feel loved enough to not want John Mayer's love? [okay now i'm starting to sound like a psycho]

oh well.

i think i gotta run run run

2009-05-08T07:13:00.000-07:00

Title of this song is by a band named Phoenix.

So many different things ran through my head today. Its like a whirlwind of thoughts leading from one thing to another or totally unconnected all just spinning and spinning and leaving a trail of disaster behind it...

Anyway. Star Trek is a really really awesome movie. :D Enjoyed it tremendously! Although I was very young when I first [and probably last] watched the Star Trek tv series but I could still remember the some of the trekkie terms/names which felt nice ;p
Capt. James T. Kirk
Spock
USS Enterprise
Vulcans

well i suppose that was it...from what i remember from my childhood that is. :p

I guess my blogging mojo ran away together with my nose so.. yeah.

I wonder if anyone reads this.

If anyone does, then the next few things I'll be typing out may not make sense.

paranoia,symptoms, war, stupidity of human race, vicious cycle, hot dogs, stressed.

short burst

2009-05-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

Men infuriate me sometimes you know? Its as though sometimes they just don't GET it. I know their brains don't have the capacity to think along the same wavelength as a women's brain but at least MAKE AN EFFORT.

Another thing I can't stand is how they sometimes just brush things off. what are you too chicken to deal with it or are you just too daft to notice when something is OBVIOUSLY wrong. I've left "playing games" and "talking in codes" in high school okay.

Meh. Maybe I'm just ranting about nothing right now. Gosh i haven't felt angry in awhile... this isn't actually angry angry but it'll have to do for now.

I'm so glad i started blogging again............. its all coming back to me. :p

yeah you and me we can ride on a star

2009-05-04T08:39:00.000-07:00

So i finally went to the gym today..after about.... a while of not going. Guess what?! My foot started cramping up when i was in the shower -_- how gay is that?

I forgot how jam it can get in front of Eastin Hotel at 6pm.. I was stuck in that small stretch from where i leave my house to the traffic lights for about 20-25 minutes. Surprisingly it was the first time I wasn't irritated or restless about it.. i literally just went with the flow :) And also got some really pretty traffic jam pictures.

Blue skies may be pretty and all that but GOSH is it blistering hot when the sky is blue. Just sucks the energy right outta you. Slept the afternoon away hence hitting the gym at 6pm. heh. terrible i know.

Mecca -> Switzerland -> Glasgow ->Greece/Montreal

Insyaallah [in gods will] that will be my plan after my last paper on the 18th of june. :D please please please allow me to have enough funds to do this trip. Please God
on a lighter note.
here're my attempts at artistic pictures :p

Nothing else matters - Metallica

I've got the world on a string

2009-05-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

Life is a lot easier but also a lot more dangerous with a plastic [credit card].
Hair colour touch up + treatment- RM250
Sushi - RM45 [damn those magazines with "salmon is good for you"]
Facial cleansing essentials - RM 50

I managed to spend RM350 in one day. Heck. Make that in 5 hours [i got up at 2 today]. Dad i'm really really sorry. If i have the time, i'd work before globe trotting so that i can take care of my own pocket money instead of you giving it to me.

Anyway, while i was driving home with my fuel indicator a few cm from E just now, i was thinking to myself that i am growing up and am very thankful for what i have in life. I felt "cool" with the windows down [it was a nice cool night] and Taxman by the Beatles blaring from my stereo [sounds like the theme song from oceans 11/12/13]. See, at the end of it all, it really is the simple things in life that makes you feel good.

On a lighter note, i saw a modified 2-door smart car on the road. I think it looked cute :p

Hair fresh from the salon. no difference eh? ;p

of mamaks and new friends

2009-04-30T04:47:00.000-07:00

My dad's best friend who has been living in US for about 19 years came down with his kids. Son Ahif, 33 and daughter Amina 26. Lovely lovely people. I'm so glad my parents semi forced my brother and I to take them out tonight. Talked about everything under the sun and my parents were right. Amina and I have quite abit in common :) It was ridiculously interesting talking to them as they were muslims living in the US and are very successful.

I envy them mainly for the CONCERTS! OMG! She's seen Dave Matthews Band THRICE! shit wei.
Their gonna go to the COLDPLAY concert next month and they just saw RADIOHEAD. oh man. I envy them so.

They live in DC btw. Anyway too tired now. more updates soonish.

New beginning.

2009-04-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

Ah musings at 3am.. how i miss it. I miss hearing the clacking of the keyboard. Yeah i don't really type that much. Not really much of an email person unless its to someone in Australia. So i miss this. I miss just rambling on about nonsensical things that would probably only make sense to me.

Compartmentalizing my thoughts. That's why I blog I suppose.

See, about an hour ago I was lying down in my bed tossing and turning till my pillow is at my feet and my comforter on the floor. I was thinking to myself, "why in the world can't I sleep?!" Getting frustrated at myself...and just before i was about to get fully riled up, I realised why. [apart from having had a nap in the afternoon] There were just random thoughts running through my head. Things like "i should put songs on my on-the-go playlist" and "maybe i'll go to the gym tomorrow morning" and "should i wash my hair before i go to the gym or after i'm done? but i'm not accustom to their hair dryers" and so on and so forth. I'm sure you get my drift.

So I figured if i had somewhere to let my head wander outloud, then it wouldn't be creating a ruckus in my brain,disrupting my sleeping.

So this is it.

My new blog.

Goodbye www.xanga.com/jazzy_Naj. We had a good run.

now i shall leave you [whoever you may be] with a few photos i took using my nokiaE65 during the magic hour [thats what they call dusk in the movie business apparently]

typical rush hour traffic jam. darn motorcycles aka pesky road mosquitoes.

my high school when i went back to set up an alumni booth for open day. [note the ratio of scenery to school]
pretty sky.

sleep all day - jason mraz.